I think it was 1996 and someone whose opinion I valued, asked me what my greatest fear was. I answered that outside of closest monsters, laughing hyenas or having to shave my legs, that I feared being forgotten. Granted it was a very common response, so I would guess its a common fear. Whether or not it is genuine for others is beyond me.

So for Memorial Day weekend I went (with my family) to one of the usual places I "vacation" (shop rather). Along the way to Chicago, we visited a family friend who is dying of cancer. Its one of those odd situations where there's nothing you can do and they do occupy a notable part of your thoughts, but outside of that? ... Everyone who's lost someone to cancer, feels connected. Everyone who's lost someone to drugs, violence or war, they feel connected. They remember.

Passing through the Michigan highway system I noted at least 1 dedicated portion of highway. Entering Chicago from the south, you're bound to see Soldier Field, yet another dedication. I can't help feeling how wasted some of these dedications are. They don't really connect people. I'll drive on the road and curse the potholes. I'll get stuck in traffic and curse the Chicago Bears for having a game when I'm arriving. But then at the same time, does a concrete slab with someone's name on it in the middle of an infrequently visited graveyard somehow imply those people are remembered any more or less?

The names will be forgotten but everyone who ever gave a damn and could see past their own wishes, will undoubtedly leave an impact on someone or something. Names, faces, tombstones - all fade, but the actions make the difference. At the end of the day (or end of the race), I just hope that I helped someone or leave a positive impact. As for wishing someone remembers my name? Well, that I can see, is just plain selfish.

Posted in: Life, Politics,

The "real" Mahesh Reddy started blogging ... again. When I was chatting with him he mentioned that he happened to stumble upon a link to my site, by accident. I thought that was cool. Its funny what we find by accident on the web.

Apparently those who read my resources on my website are very appreciative. Some much more than others. Often I get some messages from overseas. I so very much want to publish my "fan" mail (or email rather) but I don't want to humiliate or make fun of people who may not speak english as their primary language.

I stumbled upon this by pure accident and apparently it is an old post, but it made me smile. Someone from Burma: Nyein Chan

So to pay my respects: Free Burma!!!.

But one of my favorites will always be from a Chinese student last year:

There was more, but I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea. Why can't more females contact me??? I would say free China or something to that effect, but I would hate to be blocked out by the "Great Firewall of China". Ahh well, it is good be appreciated.

Posted in: Website, Funny, Politics, Random,

What a trip!

I went to Germany last week on a business trip and it turned out to be quite an interesting experience filled with fun, stress, food, booze, late nights and women. Okay, maybe not the last one, but I had a great time (ignoring work). The Germans are a funny bunch. I can't recall all the differences I saw between them and American culture, but I want to mention some of the things that I observed.

Food. The main components of German diet are pork and beer. The menu's consist of 75% 'swine' meals and the remaining is beef (with a little fish and fowl). But the fowl was scarce due to fears of the avian flu. They love the juicy bacon, not the crisp stuff. Even the veggies are sprinkled with bacon!! ... And the portions are huge! Well if you run a meal at 15 euro, that's almost $20 US (ie. everything was just a tad bit expensive -- tip and tax are automatic). The odd part of the meat is that it's seldom seasoned. Just huge slabs of meat. Just huge.

Drink About 5 yrs ago, someone told me that once you get used to German beers you won't like anything else. Hmmm, some truth in that maybe. ... They prefer hefeweizen which to me was a 'misty' beer that seemed a lot thicker. Odd at first, you develop a taste for it rather quickly. Although the dark beer ('dunkel') did have a nicer taste. Curious though, the bars did not have much variety with the harder drinks. Maybe it was their lack of understanding my english?

Toilets The men's standing toilets seemed like little bowls mounted on the wall. No privacy. Just everybody standing friendly next to eachother. Of course, the Germans aren't as uptight as Americans (which explains a lot). ... Toilet tissue leaved a lot to be desired. Interestingly most of the restrooms I saw always had lots of open TP laying around. In the US you have to lock it up so people won't steal it. And the final kicker: the TP is like sand paper!!! Go home and hug your Charmin and tell it how much you appreciate it.

Sex Again, the Germans are open and free. Driving to the hotel, there are posters and billboards all over with ads for "erotic materials". Absolutely no big deal. You can find a 'Sex Shop' in the middle of other stores. Buy some groceries, try on some clothes, pick up some XXX magazines. Curious. And the television isn't much different. After 10 (or maybe 11) the commercials on several channels are littered with all sorts of ads for 'erotic' things. See I couldn't quite figure it out. I thought it was possibly phone sex or something. But it was also SMS messaging, and other weird stuff. But, you see the girls are totally naked. And that's only the commercials. Very odd. --- Don't worry, I was almost never in my room except to sleep.

Lots of other interesting things. ... The autobahn was a bit wild. I saw our cabby pull 165km/hr more than once. ... Lots of absolutely tiny tiny cars. ... No such things as 'non-smoking areas'. People smoke everywhere. And there are cigarette vending machines, with not a few varieties - but 40. Clothes smell. I even saw ashtrays in the stairwells at work. ... Impressive how the restaurants and bars have many english speaking waiters (and attractive waitresses). ... Airport security is about 3x times more intense than in the US. ...

It was a very fascinating trip. I'll bet most of the above isn't too specific to Germany and maybe Europe as a whole, but still hard for me to guess either way. Anyways, I'm glad I got the opportunity.

Posted in: Travel, Random,

Even though I do have various degrees of experience across different software, I still consider myself somewhat of a junior engineer. Someone somewhere thought differently. So a "roster" of people was drafted for some workshops in Germany. One person's personal trip was already preplaned, hence he was out (you know who you are). Many people had passport or visa issues and in the end, given the last minute nature, only a subset was able to go. So here I am at 4:45am writing a blog post in a hotel room a little distance away from Frankfurt, Germany. I tried so hard to sleep, but I just couldn't.

There's a workday ahead of me with people I hardly know on a project that's so massive and complex that I could spend weeks just understanding ... and my imput matters. I don't know what impression I'll leave on the German engineers or what effect I will have on this project as a whole. However I'm glad to have a unique chance to be involved and to experience another country.

My eyes have been "opened" multiple times so far and that's not even including the culture shock. More later.

Posted in: Life, Travel,

I was having lunch a few weeks ago like normal and the subject of taxes arose. Someone, who was a little new to my lunch crowd, asked if anyone knew of any tax preparation classes that one can take to better learn how to process tax forms. (So this guy needs help with taxes.) I told him my general advice to look online or and obtain information himself. If he's not confident to look to some some software like TurboTax or Taxcut etc. And if he really needs help go to a tax accountant or some financial service and pay for the service and next year use that as your "template". So after yapping all that out, he tells me that it is not for himself but for others. (So he's a nice guy.) I commended him on his charity only to have him comment on my naivete. He wanted to charge for his service.

But of course. His reasoning was that he had lots of spare time and that he should pick up something to do. (Okay, he's a bored guy.) I suggested he persue an interest and cultivate a hobby. He said that he already has hobbies: watching movies and listening to music. Hmmm ... I thought hobbies were recreation, so I told him straight that a passive activity is NOT a hobby. And something like a sport, or collecting, or playing a game - something that involves active participation -- that's what I call a hobby. He agreed, but none of it makes money. Hmmm ... (So, he's looking for money.) So I see the motivation now. I don't know if I understand really. He's a decently paid engineer with a wife who's also well employed, and between the 2 of them (no children) they easily pull 6 figures. I'm not judging (really), just that I don't know if I understand some people.

Persue what truly makes you happy, and hopefully the money will follow. Sure we all make compromises because we need money. However the chances are that through the persuit of money it is highly doubtful that the happiness will follow.

I wanted to end this post right there, but I have been incredibly active (busy!!!) with one of my computer hobbies. It does make me feel like I've accomplished something, and the fact is that the "benefits" do follow.

Posted in: Life, Philosophy,